Messing Up
by moonhowlerTash
Summary: ONESHOT Inuyasha’s messed up bad this time, and he’s the only one who doesn’t know what he did. How can he figure it out if no one will let him near Kagome? Rated M just for violence and language.


Messing Up

I looked on in confusion. I just didn't understand what was going on.

It had been like this for at least a week now. And to top it off, I didn't know what I had done this time to piss not only her, but the monk and demon slayer, off, hell even the cat seemed ticked at me.

I looked back as far as my memory could recall and still I could think of nothing. Unless it was something that I hadn't done on purpose.

Red flashed through my mind and the sound of flesh ripping suddenly filled my ears. I winced slightly as I noticed the smell of salt nearby. I looked up and locked eyes with a glaring monk.

He had been staying extremely close to the girl this last week. Never once allowing me to be near her, constantly by her side. They seemed to all be against me, keeping the girl all to themselves. The kit was being worse then before, begging for her attention as much as possible.

Kilala seemed to make it her duty to carry the girl so she couldn't be with me. I turned away from the monk for some reason feeling ashamed.

They made me feel as if I was a disgusting half breed again, something I usually didn't feel around them. Kagome hadn't talked to me this whole week, unless it was something casual, something she would say to anyone passing by.

Those little talks that I used to think were pointless I now missed a lot. But more then anything I missed her smile, her laugh.

She had barely laughed this week and if she did it was fake, just an act for her friends. My heart grew heavier thinking about how she didn't even try to pretend to me.

That would have been an improvement.

I listened carefully as Kagome told Shippo a short little story about a fox and a cricket. I heard him quietly ask for a lullaby and I perked my ears waiting patiently for her sweet voice, but it never came. Sango took over quickly saying it was getting late and we had a long day ahead of us.

A lie.

We had nothing to do tomorrow. It was our "vacation day" as Kagome had once called it.

I relaxed slightly as everyone's breathing evened out. Except for Miroku's. Every night someone, weather Sango, Miroku or Kilala would stay up. Waiting for me to fuck up again.

Kagome began to whimper and whine. My name barely escaping her lips. I was about to go comfort her when the monk moved quickly and leaned her against him, an arm slung over her shoulder lightly. She immediately stopped and snuggled up against him. I growled slightly and saw him shake his head.

It hurt.

I had to admit this was not the most painful thing in my life, but it was pretty damn close. I tried very hard but I couldn't help it and a small whimper escaped my mouth.

Hoping the monk hadn't heard it, I leaned against the tree trying to sink into it. I stared at the sky for a long time, hoping and praying that Miroku would fall asleep.

But he never did. As the sun slowly rose over the horizon, I felt three pairs of eyes on me, and after a quick and loud yawn I felt another pair add to the three. They all turned away when Kagome shifted against Miroku. They tired their hardest to hide it to Kagome how they treated me, and the sad thing was they were getting away with it, extremely well.

I waited till they had all started walking forward, jumping down from the tree when they were almost out of sight. It had been this way since I figured out that they were protecting her from me. All of them surrounded her like she was extremely important, which she was but you get my point.

Miroku stayed in back in case I tried to get near. Sango on one side, Kilala on the other and Shippo in the front to keep her company. If we stayed at some kind of an Inn or something, Miroku had made sure to get two rooms and most of the time I was on my own.

They had no idea how badly they were hurting me, but then again I never let it show.

I had a feeling Kagome understood slightly because it seemed I was not the only one hurting. I wanted so badly to just go up to her and ask what was wrong but knowing me it would come out horribly wrong, plus I wouldn't be able to get near her anyway.

The new moon was coming soon and I hoped they would back up a bit so I might be able to talk to her. But maybe if I waited till I was human she wouldn't think it came from my heart. I sighed deeply and Kilala's ear twitched towards me. At least someone was paying a bit of attention to me.

I had never felt so bad in my entire life.

I stopped dead when I realized what had happened exactly two weeks ago. That had been the day I had lost control. I had let my demon side out while my human side cowered in the back of my mind. The flash of red and tearing of flesh filled my mind once again and pure terror grew in my gut.

What the hell did I do?

I tried to organize my thoughts from that day but they ended when that rusted sword had been stabbed through the spot right below my heart. I remembered seeing the Tetsusaiga stuck in the side of a cliff nearby and tried to remember how it had got there.

I started walking again not wanting Kagome to get attacked while I was day dreaming. What if.. I had .. hurt Kagome? Not just mentally but psychically? The fear from before shot through my gut again and I looked at the back of her head. I had been unconscious for about a week after transforming.

That was enough time to heal wasn't it? Or at least hide it from me well enough that I wouldn't notice. When I had awoken it was very quiet and when I usually saw Kagome's face first this time the only thing I saw was the old hag. And from that day on for a week straight I got little to no conversation from the three humans and two demons.

"Kagome?" I said quietly and I felt 5 sets of eyes on me but I only paid attention to hers. They were missing their usual spark and fire. The bright brown was now a dull almost black color. The wind picked up suddenly and my nose was assaulted with a new scent, one that was coming from Kagome. I didn't understand why I hadn't noticed it till now. I finally took notice of the 4 glaring pairs of eyes and let it go... for now. "Never mind."

"Idiot." I bit my lip to keep from growling at the little brat, it wouldn't make things any better.

How could I have been so stupid? I rubbed the back of my head, I was getting a lot of headaches recently. One more thing to worry about. That's when it hit me. I had to get Kagome alone some how. I just had too.

Later that night when Shippo had started to yawn, I suggested we stopped, and for the first time in a week I saw a small bit of emotion cross Kagome's face.

Too bad I couldn't tell you what it was.

As soon as we found a small clearing I immediately jumped into a tree trying to escape the horrible looks that they were giving me.

"Sango?" Said demon slayer looked at Kagome. "I'm gonna go get some water for the ramen ok?"

'_Ramen? She hadn't made ramen since.. forever.'_ He closed his eyes counting to ten slowly. While everyone was occupied I chose this moment to jump down away from them and run all the way around until I got to the path Kagome had walked.

Slowly down my heart ripped a little when I saw her down by the small stream, mini rivers of tears following down her face. She was looking at her stomach which was exposed since she had her shirt lifted. I took a step forward and she spun around her hand glowing blue.

A new power from Keade I assumed, probably for extra protection. _'Against you most likely.'_ I couldn't stop the evil voice in the back of my head.

She didn't put her hand down even when she noticed it was me. I could see the conflicting emotions in her eyes. I could tell she wanted to yell for Sango, or Miroku, or even Shippo. Anyone who would make her not alone with me.

"Kagome just give me a chance." She had started shaking her head as soon as I had started talking. "I won't move from this spot." She seemed to think about it for a moment, she slowly lowered her hand, the blue glow fading away. I took this as a good sign.

The stench of fear drifted to my nose and I shuddered and looked away for a moment, trying to collect myself before I spoke to her. Taking a deep breathe I tried to think of how to start this off.

"I know what I did has scared you pretty badly, but what it was, you just can't image how sorry I am."

"Don't give me that shit!" My eyes widened in surprise, since when did she even cuss. "You, and Sango and Miroku always told me that no matter what I was the one you would never hurt. Huh, I was so foolish to believe you guys."

She began to choke on her words as more tears ran down her face. I began to take a step forward, my inner demon wanted to go and comfort her, but she raised her hand back up the blue glow now swirling with red around it. I put my foot back where it was and she lowered her hand again.

"What.. did I do?" She glared at me before slowly lifting up her shirt to right below her chest but I could see that it went further than that. I sucked in a gulp of air my eyes never leaving the damaged flesh.

From the direction of the claw marks I would have to guess they started at her left shoulder and ran all the way to her right hip. I could feel the backs of my eyes burning and I could hear the others yelling for Kagome, becoming worried since we were both gone.

"I know this won't make what I've done any better Kagome, but for what's it's worth right now I feel like I don't deserve to even be this near to you. I can understand if you never wanna talk to me again. Hell I wouldn't talk to me but you have to understand I would give my life to take back what I've done."

"Kagome!" I could hear Miroku and Sango getting closer and I thought about bolting, but I couldn't bring myself to move. Kagome put her shirt down and I finally looked away, my vision blurring slightly from the tears I could no longer stop.

"I'm so sorry Kagome." I dropped to my knees then, my legs no longer able to hold my weight. "I'm so so sorry. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't want to lose you but if I have to leave to make you stop being so terrified I will. I'll do whatever you want."

Miroku took this time to run into the scene and look Kagome over. He looked over at me and suddenly all I felt from him was pity. I hated it but for some reason it was more comforting then the usual hatred I had been receiving.

"Sango, I found her!" Sango came running over cursing me with every foul thing she could think of. I couldn't blame her.

"I swear if he so much as looked at her-" She cut off her own ranting as she saw me, on the ground with tears rolling down my face. I mean I hadn't cried since Mukotsu.

I looked up at Kagome and saw that she was crying too. Miroku and Sango were looking at the two of us but not interfering for once. She must have seen something in my eyes because she shook her head and started walking towards camp, Sango and Miroku following close behind.

Swallowing back the vile that was rising in my throat, I took the moment to go over to the stream and wash my face. I felt guilty, angry, horribly sad, and embarrassed that I had cried so much in front of Kagome. But I sucked it up and put my feet in the water.

"What have I done?" I could feel my heart cracking and falling to the ground. But this time there was no one to pick up the pieces. Standing up angrily, I walked over to the closet trees and began slicing wildly. Each slash brought back a painful flash of that night when I had hurt Kagome so badly.

Koga's face suddenly flashed and I growled loudly, slashing at a tree even harder.

Suddenly I stopped.

Laying back on the ground and watching the movie play through my mind. Kagome's sad, worried face, then Koga in front of her, then Koga was gone and his claws had already slashed what was in front of him. Kagome.

So that's what had happened? A simple accident had caused all this havoc? But my little film wasn't over yet. I watched as my demon side looked down at Kagome's unconscious form.

_**Demon Inuyasha looked down at the girl on the ground a steady puddle of blood growing around her soaking every part of her body. He heard but didn't comprehend his other human companies arriving at the scene, gasps and a yell of Kagome's name escaping the demon slayer's lips.**_

"_**Koga." He could feel his body shaking going into a deeper state of rage. He bared his fangs getting delight in the fact that the wolf demon was slowly letting down his guard worried about Kagome. Inuyasha charged forward with a sudden new speed, catching Koga completely off guard and knocking him into a rock shattering it with the impact.**_

_**Just as he started to walk towards Koga again the salty scent of tears caught his nose and he looked over to see the two humans and fox kit crying over the girl. Racing over and growling at them until they backed away, and he kneeled down beside her, gently picking her up and sprinting back towards the village.**_

_**When he arrived he set her on the floor of the hut and waited patiently. When the old woman came out she gasp and quickly set about her tasks ignoring his state of being.**_

"_**Sit Inuyasha." He ungracefully smacked against the floor, snarling and baring fangs. "Sit please." Her voice was desperate, as he hit the floor one more time before blacking out, leaving a blood stain of his own from the injuries of the double attack on him.**_

I took a deep breathe feeling the memory stick itself on a shelf in the back of my mind. "That's right. Koga and Sesshomaru double teamed me." I mused to myself aloud. "I don't think it was intentional though, because as soon as Sesshomaru had smacked my Tetsusaiga away and then stuck his sword through my gut," I grimaced as the feeling hit me quickly.

"He seemed to notice Koga and just left. Ha he must've thought that was unfair. Then Koga just started attacking, relentless blows raining down on me. And then I hit that tree pretty hard, knocking the air out of me." It felt good to get all of this out in the open. "That's when I transformed. And then I.. I hit Kagome instead of Koga."

The air in my lungs was suddenly stolen from me and I felt my kimono become wet.

"What was I thinking? How could I have… treated you so.. horribly? I'm so sorry Inuyasha!" I looked down to see Kagome shaking with sobs, her fists in my shirt and I put my arms around her hesitantly, scared that I might get in trouble.

"Shh it's ok. It's gonna be alright." She didn't stop shaking but she did snuggle against me more. We laid there in silence for a moment as her sobs quieted down and I noticed, sadly that I was crying too, again. Damn girl. I smiled softly and ran my fingers through her hair, seeming to calm her even more.

"Kagome?" She made a sound of acknowledgement. "Did you hear everything I said or did you remember on your own." I heard a muffled version of both escape her mouth. "So no more hating me?" She shook her head and I generally smiled for the first time in a week.

"Thank God." She fell asleep and I stood up with her in my arms bridal style and slowly walked back to the camp site. I just hoped Kagome had told Sango and Miroku what she had remembered. As soon as possible I was going to take Kagome to Jinenji to get one hell of a healing potion.

Sorry I didn't really know how else to end this without dragging it on or something. So how was it?

-_Tash_


End file.
